6 Secrets to Keeping Your New Year Resolutions

In a research published on the 1^st of January, 2014, by the University of Scranton in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, it was found that only 8% of people making resolutions were able to keep them!

This is a very USA centric research and I ran my own little survey on social media to see whether India was any different.

Here is a quick comparison[1]:

• There is some serious congruence between the two. About 60% make  resolutions regularly or infrequently
• Just about 10% experience full success
• Nearly 40% never make any resolutions

[1] A caveat – my own research was conducted informally and will probably not stand the test of any statistical validity. It does, however, pass the common sense test.

Is it worth it?

Given the depressing figures of success the question is valid. Why go through all the ‘stress’ and why not just enjoy the New Year?

Here is another interesting finding from the same research that might help answer that question:

“….Of the total sample size of 3000, there were two sub groups who were tracked for a period of six months. Both sub groups were marked by their common desire to change something. One had taken a resolution on New Year’s Day (resolvers) and the other (non-resolvers) had left it for later. At the end of six months 10 times more resolvers reported continuous success than non-resolvers.”

This bears out our own experience in Executive Coaching and Change Management – those who resolve to change behaviour voluntarily are more likely to succeed than those who postpone or resist change.

6 secrets behind success

Those who succeed share a few things in common.

1. A short list, preferably with only one thing on it.  When you create a list with too many things, it is one surefire way of ensuring failure. Trying to loose weight, keep in touch with family/friends more frequently, quit smoking, buy a new car, make more time for yourself …all at the same time, is attempting too much. Change is difficult and you have to set yourself up for success. Pick the one you want to work on first and get some consistency in achieving that. Success will motivate you to try the next one.
2. Choose correctly.Pick the right thing to work on. I recommend a simple exercise to my coachees. Against each one of the things that you wish to change, list out the benefits. What would you gain if the change happened?  For instance, ‘Weight loss’. It could mean looking better, feeling better, being more confident, being more attractive to the opposite sex, fitting into many of those wonderful clothes, better relationship with spouse, less expense on food….This will help you identify the one that is most motivating for you. It also helps you stay on course when you find it really hard to keep the discipline.
3. Specific. Lets take the example of ‘Make time for self’. When expressed in that form it becomes difficult to see what you need to do, and whether you are getting any success. When translated into specific behaviours (or things to do) it becomes a lot easier.  For instance, ‘make sure to have at least two weekends away from office’ is more specific. It could also be, ‘go out with my friends at least once a week’ (I like that!), or whatever it is that you believe would mean making time for yourself.  Similarly, ‘cut sweets down to one a day’, or ‘stop having tea with sugar’, or ‘have dinner by 9 p.m. everyday’.  These are all better than ‘loose weight’. Just like ‘walk for 15 minutes at least every day in the evening after coming back from work’ is better than “exercise”.
4. Appoint stakeholders. In the Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching methodology there is conclusive evidence that when you involve your stakeholders, your chance of success increases dramatically. A stakeholder is someone who has visibility of your action, has some role to play and will benefit from the change. In the case of losing weight, it could be your spouse/significant other, some friends, parents, boss/business partner. Announce to them what you are planning to do and ask them for feedback at predetermined time intervals.  There is also some interesting research at Quirkology that supports this.
5. Any day could be New Year’s Day. If you know what you want to work on and are really just postponing your action, make a resolution to start today.  It is the first day of the year on your mission. If you have chosen correctly, not created too long a list, been specific and appointed stakeholders, you have increased your chance of success exponentially.
6. Resolving the paradox of ‘wanting’ but not being able to ‘do’.  Very often we may find that even though we have rationally and emotionally understood what we want to do differently and have the necessary discipline to implement, we are still unable to do it. This is often caused by a deeper belief that runs counter to what we want to do. Here is an example:

Shireen (name changed) believed that she needed to make more time for herself. She also had a clear action plan. However, every weekend she would be back in office either attending to her own work or, more often doing something that she had promised to help out with.  Her growing up years had distilled in her the belief that people needed to be helped whenever they asked for it. Not doing so was somehow wrong. It was only after she understood how she had created an ecosystem where everyone always turned to her and her own work and family life was suffering that she was able to deal with it. Her action plan changed to ‘informing people when they could expect feedback from her’ and ‘not attending phone calls on Sundays’.

The last one is of course more difficult to unearth and resolve. And here comes my plug – mail/call me or attend one of my programmes. You might find it useful 🙂 !

What about me – you ask?

Well, here is my resolution for the New Year, post at least 3 pieces on my blog, Bullzi FB page and twitter every month. Of these at least one will be an original article written by me. My New Year has started today, the 29^th of December.

Cheers!