Say:Do

Every quarter, companies that do not meet their stated projections, see their share prices go south immediately.

When politicians do not deliver, they are shown the door.

People speak disparagingly about colleagues, associates, friends and family who say a lot but do very little. As they do about service providers who fail to deliver on promises.

At the heart of any relationship lies trust. And a major factor in building trust is the faith that the other will do what they have said they will.

1 or <1, The ideal Say:Do ratio

So do individuals and organisations have to deliver all the time on their commitments?

Let’s unpack this a little more.

1. Intent – When you say what does it mean to you? Is it a commitment, a wish or just words? The degree of effort that will go into do is directly related to intent. Will you really run every day or just think it’s a good thing to do or saying it for effect?

When an organisation says ‘belief in diversity’ is one of its values, is it the ‘correct thing to say’ or does it believe in it enough to lose money to live this value?

2. Setting Expectations – ‘Delivery within 24 hours or your money back’ is an absolute commitment. ‘We will try and give you a sea-facing room, subject to availability’ sets the expectation totally differently. Seasoned professionals will tell you that a key to a great customer experience is to under commit and over deliver. Your Say:Do ratio will be <1.

P V Sindhu said ‘This time the colour of the medal will be different’, before she started her world championship campaign. It would have been great, if she had got gold but she did get silver, which was better than the bronze she had won so far. Which brings me to the next point.

3. Stretch or New – Sometimes we state we will do something that is audacious or out of the ordinary. It is important that the stakeholders understand that this is indeed so. Stamping out corruption from our society within 10 years would be an audacious goal where people are likely to cut you some slack. If you had a Say:Do at 100:70, it would be fine. People will understand that you would not even have got there if you did not have the Intent.

On the other hand, ‘we will put15 lacs in your account within 5 years from black money recovered’ may be something where the expectation will be 1:1.

Elon Musk has ventured into never before territory. He is not meeting his sales projections. His investors have not lost faith as yet. They are only watching if he is doing things right and keeping the faith. They may all lose money. Sometimes there are risks associated with venturing into new, unexplored areas and again what is important is the Intent and the Effort.

4. Effort – There are those who wonder how can something like demonetisation, which is an abject failure economically, yield electoral returns? Even if all the data were able to conclusively prove that it was a disastrous decision, my belief is it will still be seen as a positive effort in the commitment to eradicate black money. It is much the same for an Elon Musk or Flipkart.

It will be much the same if you, with two left feet, say you want to win ‘best dancer’ in this year’s Christmas party. Did you try to learn; is there a semblance of two different feet?

How you can use Say:Do to make changes

In my work as a Coach to organisation leaders, I use a method that is part of the Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching process. Once a leader identifies an area of behavioral change, we ask them to share it with their key stakeholders. “I am going to be a better listener. Watch me!”

These are usually successful people who need to get better at something. By making them commit we are asking them to make sure their Say:Do ratio is 1 or <1. Research has established that this method has significantly higher chance of success than when it is not shared with stakeholders.

You could use the same principle for something where your intent is 100%. Try sharing your ‘say’ with your key stakeholders and ask them to give you feedback on your ‘do’.

Footnote

In a recent Mood of the Nation Survey by India Today there is a very interesting paradox that many have commented on.

63% respondents have rated the current PM’s performance as good or outstanding. This is down 6% since the last survey but still overwhelmingly good.

On a question about style of functioning, the second highest rating (23%) was for ‘All talk, no action’. The Say:Do ratio is tending towards the negative zone. I am sure this has not gone unnoticed.

Photo credits – Shutterstock, Lifehacker and other sites on the internet

How to turn friends into enemies

Sindhu and Puja were both self-motivated, bright marketing people handling two different sets of customers in a large bank. They respected each other’s work and enjoyed a mildly friendly relationship. Their conflict started when they both presented very different ideas to their boss and given the limited resources, one’s idea was given the money. That may have been all right but others in the team started to play it out as ‘victory’ for one. Suddenly there was a tussle that developed for shared resources like research as well and soon Sindhu and Puja turned adversarial.

Pluto Ghosh and Rusty Verma

The Ghoshs and the Vermas had a troubled year as neighbours. It started with the smell of fried fish from one’s kitchen wafting into the vegetarian existence of the other. This was quickly followed by the reverie of one being broken by the bhajans playing at 5:30 a.m. from the other’s house every Tuesday. They had stopped talking to each other and cast baleful looks whenever on family member met another in the elevator. Including Pluto Ghosh and Rusty Verma, the canine members of the two families. 

When you put a group of people together for a length of time they will make friends, agree on things and disagree as well. All these are natural. Disagreements and conflicts are therefore built into the fabric of human, in fact animal, existence. Conflict is neither good nor bad, just a fact of life and often necessary.

It is about how we resolve those conflicts that creates a stronger unit – family, neighborhood, company, country, and the world.

The Role of Festivals in Conflict Resolution

The wise ones who created the norms for society realized the need for a space and time that would allow people to let go of the old enmity and give resolution a chance.

People greet and ceremoniously hug each other in various cultures to signal warmth, allowing the other into their space and a willingness to accept the other. There is often an exchange of sweets and gifts as well.

A festival gives warring parties the license to meet the adversary as a person and not the enemy because the norms dictate it and make it ok. It allows for a start. Once the initial barrier is crossed, it often becomes easier to set up the next level conversations to discuss and address the problem.

There may be a lesson here for organisations as well – to create a narrative about a space that allows people to meet greet, discuss and resolve.

So this Diwali, what have you decided to do? Who are you going to hug and melt your differences away with? With whom are you going to let go of the enmity and hatred? It is a time to do all of that and brighten up your life. Step up, embrace, share a box of sweets or just a warm smile.

May the light shine on you and your loved ones. Happy Diwali!

Picture sources – rediff.com, hindustantimes.com and others from the Internet

Mastering The Second Innings – Part 6

(A dozen years ago, I made a difficult exit from a twenty year career in advertising. My wife and I started Bullzi Inc with the idea of following my passion and her experience, in developing and mentoring people. We survived and today Bullzi Inc works with organisations across continents. The work has morphed and grown. I was living my Second Innings. The definition for that, given to me by someone is ‘one where a person reinvents into a new direction’.

Many friends, business associates and acquaintances keep asking me how I managed to make the switch into a second career. What could one expect?  How did you choose the time?  How do you know what to do? And if you have decided all that how do you gather the courage to make the leap?  I talked to 15 other people who had successfully made the switch. others who are great second innings batters. In the previous part the focus was on What does Success mean in the Second Career? In this, the concluding part I will look at those who managed to sustain themselves through the Second Innings).

 When we started Bullzi, none of my previous colleagues and friends (who were all senior people in their organisations) were really interested in taking a chance with us. I got a lot of coffee, the occasional beer , sincere ‘good luck’s but no assignments.

It was frustrating and often demoralising. We kept at it though, meeting more people with pretty much the same results. I realised that I had to earn my credentials in this field. So I became a trainee once again. A very senior HR professional, whose work I admired, agreed to take me on as an understudy to assist him in his training programmes. I worked with him for free. Another friend, a thought leader in HR, became my tutor guiding me to the right books to read and right people to follow on the internet.

Meanwhile, four months had passed since I quit my job and there was no sign of any income. My daily routine included, amongst other things, checking my bank balance online 2 to 3 times hoping that miraculously it would not keep depleting! That was the most stressful thing I have ever done in my life!

One day, my brother suggested that I could use my skills of knowing business, understanding and mentoring people in placing people. In fact, he got us our first assignment. It wasn’t training but it was still about leveraging the skills I had and involved the mentoring of people. Sounded exciting and I had a point of view on how to do it better. A friend offered a free 3 month trial membership of a large resume portal and we were off. We were spectacularly unsuccessful in our first assignment .

What it did though was give us the belief that we could actually do this and that it was exciting and remunerative. When I talked about it to my old colleagues and friends, I found they were far more receptive and soon I had a few other assignments. We placed our first person 5 months after I quit my job. Was a junior sales person in and we did not really earn much. It was a start though and there were other assignments we were working on. However, the placement well produced nothing for the next 2 months. The thrice daily online banking nightmare continued and I was beginning to doubt my decision.

That is when I got a call for what would have been a dream job. It was to head a radio channel. The money was twice what I got in my last job and there was a lot I could contribute and learn.

To cut a long story short, I did not pursue it. My wife’s comment that she had rarely seen me happier than i was in the last few months and the fact that we were working on assignments which could result in income helped me make that decision. As luck would have it, the day before I was to call the HR Head with my decision, we closed a big position. After that, the placement work began to gather momentum. The training piece, the one that I was originally deeply passionate about was still running dry. I continued my learning and expanded to attending training programmes and acquiring certifications. This helped me meet many other interesting people and potential clients.

The first training break came about 18 months after I had quit my job and it took another year for it to become a regular stream of work.

 In my conversations with other Second Innings batters I discovered similar strands. They all seem to have come through doughty challenges and periods of self doubt. Here are some of the things that define their quality of resilience:

Improvisation

Yes you have a goal, purpose and maybe even terrific excel sheets. However, life will throw googlies. All of us understand this intellectually. In a Second Career you do not have the shield of your comfort zones. Most often you are out on your own. This intellectual fact is your reality, one that impacts your reputation, earning, self confidence and general well being.

Tweaking your idea, finding another related opportunity, making alliances and being open to possibilities that are authentic for you but not necessarily the only things you had thought of, are very important. In my case, Executive Search was one such adjacency. Later, this coupled with my work in Leadership Development opened up Executive Coaching to me. When the recession of 2008 came, I was well prepared to face it.

A Third Innings player, had some outstanding skills – she was a great writer and a terrific cook. She moved from a career in journalism to the development sector as a content writer/researcher. She wrote on various topics. Including reviewing books on food and the occasional restaurant. She co-curated a very popular food blog and that opened up another door. Today, in her Third Innings she is a celebrated chef who uses her writing skills to market and promote her brand. She feels she is constantly growing as a person.

Getting Help

This was a remarkable finding and as I discovered, it is borne out by research on resilience .

They have the ability to attract help. The kind of help I have got throughout my Second Career is unbelievable. From the friend who offered me that free internet service, to my first few assignments, the referrals, the mentoring…I could go on. Sometimes I really have to pinch myself to believe this is all true. I never got as much help in my advertising career.

I have often tried to understand this and asked those who backed me in the first couple of years. The reasons I got were, ‘we like you’, ‘you seemed so passionate about it, it was infectious’, ‘I knew you would be good at it’, ‘you are a good friend’…

Every successful person will tell you how about the many people they have to be thankful to.

Guess passion, good ‘karma’ from your First Innings, the ability to ask for help and being willing to subsume your ego are critical skills to possess.

Teflon

‘How is it flying’? ‘Terrific. Any better and I will be reported for special study by NASA ….”. A typical response from a Second Innings player at a time when the business has not really taken off. They have different ways in which they deal with the tough times. A sense of humour is one of them. Being positive is another.

They learn very soon to shrug off the failures, hurt pride, doubts expressed by others and so on. It is a combination of self belief and belief in what they are doing. For every person who slights or doubts you, if you remember one person who has helped you, the universe gets its balance back.

Faith

When you believe that what you do is really important and meaningful, you can grit your teeth and go through some tough times. Second Innings batters had this faith, in their choice and in themselves. We have all grown up with narratives of how the believer has to struggle for his beliefs and eventually wins. That belief system kicks in and helps us make meaning of some of the difficulties. I had to go through zero income to start Executive Search which got me to understand people even better and is a huge plus I carry into my work now. And I had to have a repertoire of things I could do to survive the crash that started in 2008. Coupled with my deep desire to really help people find their goals and purpose in life, I have been able to stay the course. It all makes sense and every challenge had its purpose.

Realist

Yes, they are positive minded people and believe they will succeed. They also understand that it will not happen tomorrow.

As the ex CEO of a consumer goods company, who now runs a personal finance consultancy, told me ‘ If you are writing about this, please tell people not to have rose tinted glasses on. If they persist, it will happen, but it will take time’.

Being a realist will help you plan for eventualities and face them. Being a raging optimist or super positive will blind you and you could fall very hard when difficulties arise. Jim Collins talks about it as one of the qualities required for companies to make the journey from Good to Great. He named it the Stockdale Paradox

 Luck

I believe I have been lucky. It played a part at many times. The serendipitous connections, breakthroughs at just the right time, falling interest rates that allowed me to pay off my home loan quickly and so on. I also know someone else who was wretchedly unlucky. He had the passion, the drive but the sheer number of things that went wrong in his life, all outside of his control, was really unfortunate.

It is hardly something we can plan for. However, if we keep the faith and manage to muddle our way through the tough times, more often than not, we will be lucky. Just seems to be the way the universe works, mostly.

 When you move to your Second Career, the first couple of years are likely to be the toughest. Once you get past that, it becomes easier and it improves your ability to handle the next googly. Keep the faith and may the force be with you.

“The bamboo that bends is far stronger than the oak that resists” Japanese Proverb

Photo credits to rediff.com, inc.com, wired.com, businessnewsdaily.com, cnd2.hubspot.net and discoveryhouse.com

Mastering The Second Innings – Part 5

(A dozen years ago, I made a difficult exit from a twenty year career in advertising. My wife and I started Bullzi Inc with the idea of following my passion and her experience – in developing and mentoring people. We survived and today Bullzi Inc works with organisations across continents and the work has morphed and grown. I am living my Second Innings. The definition for that, given to me by someone is ‘one where a person reinvents into a new direction’.

Many friends, business associates and acquaintances keep asking me how I managed to make the switch into a second career. What could one expect?  How do you choose the time?  How do you know what to do? And if you have decided all that how do you gather the courage to make the leap? I talked to 15 other people who had successfully made the switch. Others who are great Second Innings batters. In this part the focus is on what constitutes Success).

Before deciding to become a personal wealth consultant, he was the CEO of an iconic consumer brand’s India operations. On the road for 15 days a month, frequent flyer miles that paid for first class international travel for his family, more cars than family members, each car nudging the other in size and worries about where to invest his surplus money! Alongside he had a stubborn hypertension that caused even more worry, a relationship with his wife that was headed south and children who had suddenly ‘grown up’.  Despite his success, he was experiencing a deep dissatisfaction and felt disconnected with what he was doing.

Today he is happy to travel in taxis and smaller cars, takes a number of small breaks a year with his family (often travelling by train) and plays a sport 3 times a week at least. His laptop and smartphone are his office. His business works on referrals and on pitching. He leaves his ego at home when he seeks business and looks about 10 years younger and his BP rarely shoots over 135/85. If you ask him, he will tell you his second career has been a huge success.

He still does not make the money he made when he had quit his job.

Here is the story of another successful Second Innings batter. This person grew up in a middle class household in small town Gujarat. Was academically gifted. Was conscious of wanting to do something to affect positive change on the ground in the country. Went to the US for higher studies and earned a PhD. Started teaching, with the objective of making enough money to come back and start his own mission-based organisation in India. Before he realized, years had flown by and he was on the brink of getting his ‘tenure’. That is what every college teacher in the US aims for. It is when your job is ‘permanent’, you can choose what you want to work on and life becomes great. He could see the ‘American Dream’ turning into reality.

Then, it happened. A congenital heart problem recurred and he was days away from kissing this world goodbye. It was as if the ‘universe had sent me a message’.

Even though he did not have as much money as he thought he needed, he came back to India. The organisation he founded works at strengthening free market and democracy in India. He is happy working with think tanks, policy makers and other stakeholders to see that there is real change on the ground. A lot of the work is at times truly frustrating and cynicism is just a heartbeat away. Not so with him.  He is absolutely living his purpose. The ticker, (touch wood) is fine and he is bounding around with the energy of a 20 year old.

Every story of a successful Second Innings player has similar strands.

Success is not defined in the same way as you would in your First Innings. The narrative is quite different and it would be very useful for you to ponder on these if you are thinking of making the switch. Power, job title, money, perks etc. are not the key determinants of success.

Some of the ways in which the success definition is different are:

1. Its about YOU not others

The successful Second Innings player is really playing by his own rules. The external manifestations of what is accepted as success are not that important. Hence the size of car, how big the office is, how much billing and other such measures that the old world where she/he comes do not apply. My little outfit – Bullzi works with clients across continents. When people ask me where my office is, I take great pleasure in informing them that my global headquarters are at the same address where I live. It’s fun to watch people’s reactions to that one.

Is the work ‘meaningful’, ‘high quality’, ‘the kind I wanted to do’ are more important criteria. ‘Am I being authentic?’ was an important yardstick that they judged themselves by.

2. Not all about Money, honey

Don’t get me wrong. None of the successful Second Innings players have said they do not care about money. Most of them are family people and had EMIs, school/college fees, entertainment needs, medical emergencies and often aging parents to take care of. However, they did not measure their success by how much money they made. Many did not even make as much as they did in their last jobs but made more than enough to enjoy a life where they did not feel deeply deprived. The measures continued to be about meaning, quality of life, relationships and quality of work.

One of the things I have observed is that their incomes increased over a period of time. That was because they did the work they enjoyed. They worked with passion and focus. Over the long term, that pays off in life.

3. Growing from Inside

‘I am back on the learning curve’, said with a sparkle in the eye and a smile on the lips. The act of reinventing their careers meant that Second Innings players had to focus on learning all over again. They found the whole journey fulfilling as it exposed them to new ideas, new people and new facets of their own selves. The fact that they could learn again, so much, was empowering. You will notice a sense of childish excitement and positivity in them, when they are talking about what they do now.

As a result, they are more open to learning and less dogmatic, which of course will help you become more successful any time any place.

In my observation, the successful Second Innings players were more at ease with their own selves, handled relationships better, had interesting points of view and were a source of inspiration to others.

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
― Albert Einstein

The little boy was all nervous and excited; he was going to learn to swim! He was holding his mother’s hand and standing at the edge of the pond waiting for the older boys. They had promised his mother that they would keep him safe and teach him. One of them beckoned him into the water and holding his hand gently pulled him in deeper. The boy kept feeling for the bottom until it slowly disappeared. Then suddenly he let go of him and told him to splash. The boy splashed about and sank. He surfaced and screamed for them to hold him up. They just laughed and told him to swim. He kept going under and coming up and suddenly he saw a snake, its head up, wriggling grotesquely through the water. He screamed and went under once again. One of the older boys picked him up and swam back to the shore. That little boy did not enter water again and did not learn swimming.

Thirty-five years later, a middle-aged man sat on a raft at the beginning of the ride, a co-facilitator for a team building exercise. The principal facilitator, who had seen him shy away from water before, looked at him as he asked everyone to dive into the water to get used to it. He knew he had to jump in. He also knew he would never make it as a facilitator if he did not. He jumped.  The life jacket brought him up and he felt a release from the fear that had sat in him for years.

One question that gets repeatedly asked is ‘How do I really muster the courage to make that leap?’Here are a few things that may help once you are sure that the present is not really where you want to be:

Build up your Courage Muscles

When the outcome and challenges are unknown and there is a real danger of losing a livelihood, fear is natural.  For many of us, courage is a muscle we have to work at developing. When I spoke to successful second innings players I gathered a few things about this exercise regime.

1. Conquer some other fear

Overcoming the fear of water had helped me bulk up my courage muscles. When I returned home, I started on my second career. Try something, bungee jumping, skydiving, and forest walk – anything that you are afraid of.

2. Go for small victories

This is a story shared by one of the respondents. At a time when she was transiting from one career to another, she decided to go for the Vaishnodevi pilgrimage.  She was not the fit daily gym person, in fact an overweight,  heavy smoking odd-hour keeping journalist,.  She did the 14-km steep stretch up and down in one night. Whenever she faltered she dedicated one step each to a member of the family and her close friends, guilt making her include all her loved ones.  Suddenly she was at the top. That huge sense of achievement was the beginning of her belief that if she set her mind to it, she could achieve anything.

A number of respondent in my research echoed this, saying that they broke the big changes needed into small steps. The more ground they covered, the more confident they felt.  Another example often shared was about changing one’s lifestyle, bringing down expenses and not caring whether you can serve the finest malts any more. Difficult, but as one respondent shared, it made him believe that he could do seemingly difficult things.

The most important thing to remember is that fears get addressed as you begin to do things not if you keep sitting and thinking about them.

3. This is it

A few really successful Second Innings players were those who had literally no option left. With their backs to the wall they had to either sink or swim. So they chose to swim in the direction they wanted to.  The cliché that ‘as one window closes, many others open up’, is something that all Second Innings players say they have experienced.

What are you afraid of

Identifying the causes of your fear can help you deal with some of them.

Some of our fears are not about the challenge of the new career but about what moving out says about us to peers, friends, family. It’s the fear of breaking stereotypes. What if you fail?

There are different things that have helped different people.

1. Sounding Board

Talking it through with someone you trust who can be non judgmental. It helps realise why you want to do it and that others opinions don’t matter.

2. Visualisation

Imagine yourself being successful in whatever you want to do. This visualization technique helps to reaffirm your faith that you are going to be in a better place than where you were.

3. New Patterns

It’s all about changing the patterns. If you think that the second innings has to follow the same pattern as your first – for example a 9-5 schedule or going for a drink to the club only when everyone else comes off work or carrying on with the same conversations that don’t help you grow — then you may as well have not made the switch. You made the switch because you wanted something different. Look around you and you will find that people look at you differently, most often with awe. Let that become your strength. That you had the courage.

Create a circle of faith

The desire for change and the fears around it both emanate from the person.

I have seen people deciding not to make the change because of the naysayers from their inner circle. One of the commonalities amongst successful Second Innings players was the support and confidence they enjoyed from their environment and significant others.  Therefore, gravitate towards where you get positive reinforcement.  Think about it, if you’re jumping for the first time from a plane, what would you like to hear – ‘go ahead, you can do it’ or ‘you know 30 people did not make it!’

Reduce the Pressure 

Planning helps when we are dealing with large personal change. It is like a small torch in a pitch-dark forest – lights up the path ahead, for a few steps. Caveat – don’t over plan, go with the flow. That way you are prepared for the surprises that crop up. Most of the people who succeeded had these views to offer:

1. Back up Funds

It helps if you have the funds to sustain yourself for a length of time – anywhere between 6 months to 18 months.

2. Extend Sustainability

Discover the pleasures and challenges of the cliché simple living and high thinking. Turn it to your advantage. Do things no one in your immediate circle has done before. Like going in search of the Bastar tribals or hunting out unknown street food options or whatever strikes your fancy. The curiosity you generate is a great morale booster.  It’s a win-win – you get to do really cool things and by reducing the expenses you reduce the pressure on yourself!

3. Expectation Management

Dream of success but keep your expectations low. Rather, move towards your expectations – sounds esoteric but it’s actually creating new parameters for yourself where you discover, rather than assume, what your expectations could be. And you want to progress on that path and slowly increase the quotient.

4. Continuous Learning

Have a learning plan – how are you going to learn new skills required rapidly and continuously.  How will you create the new circle for learning and intellectual companionship? Be open to meeting new people and having new conversations. Seek those out.

“You’re standing at the ledge. This is happening.
The crew member is holding your harness at your back.  …..He tells you to look up at the camera and smile……You smile and try to look brave.  ……
He tells you he’s going to count down from three. You tell him you just want a second to take it all in.
Heart is pumping incessantly. You take a breath.
Never do you think of turning back. It’s not an option.  You stand there taking it all in.  You look down and get dizzy.
This is happening.
This is happening.
This is happening.
You look out to the distant mountain peak.  You bend your knees, arms out.
You jump.
You lose connection with everything that is solid, secure, and familiar.
You are fallinng…
You feel free.
All the anxiety, fear, nervousness, disappears in an instant.
……….You remember you are afraid of heights.  But somehow your fear is masked by this feeling of complete elation.   You look down.  You look up.  You look all around and yell out “WHOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!” –  Eric Sullano on his experience of bungee jumping.

 “Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid but act anyway” – Dr. Robert Anthony

The gift of timing that has won so many matches

‘I wish I were doing something else’ .

I hear this increasingly from people. Hearteningly, many more from the corporate world and other traditional professions are now making the journey to do ‘something else’ than before. Given my personal journey (here is a story that appeared in Economic Times a few years ago), I am often approached for advice by potential Second Innings players.

In Part 1 we dealt with some of the headline positives and challenges for those contemplating a move out of their current careers to one of doing something else on their own. In part 2, I want to share with you some insights on knowing when to make the move. This is based on my research with 18 people who made this switch successfully and insights shared by many others.

Where are you – Way Up or Way Down?

This is a construct I have created. It is developed further from Marshall Goldsmith’s ‘mojo’ model and my earlier refinement of it.

The vertical axis relates to how you are actually doing in your job (or profession). This is concrete and measurable by growth in assignments, contracts, money and so on. The horizontal axis relates to how you are feeling in your job (profession), irrespective of how you are doing. Often the two are related but sometimes they are not.

If you find yourself in any of these situations, it may just be the time to consider making the move:

1. You are one of the stars and have been doing very well. You have grown rapidly in your job and have for some time been managing a large role. However, there is a voice inside you that increasingly speaks up now with the same question ‘is this really what i want to do?’ or ‘i wish i were doing something else’ or some other variation of it. Somewhere  along the line the big cars, the fancy apartments and international holidays are no longer motivating. You are looking for a purpose, some meaning. You are WAY UP in reality but WAY DOWN in Feeling. It is a clear signal of the need to move on. The trouble of not listening to these signals is that often the Reality follows the Feeling and we may land up having to pay the price in terms of health, stress, family tensions and so on.

2. You are not doing too well. You have been passed over for promotion or have been reassigned to a lesser/unsatisfactory role or have hit the glass ceiling. You no longer find your work interesting or motivating and work is a drag. This is a feeling that has been around for some time, may be even before your current lack of success. Caveat – please do not confuse this with a bad day or irritation with a boss. You are WAY DOWN in Reality and in Feeling.

It is a time when getting another job also becomes more difficult as you are caught in the ‘WAY DOWN trap. Things look grim.

This is a time when looking at this situation as an opportunity to reinvent yourself and move on to pursuing that dream can be a great option.

3. All is going well and then…..The organisation takes a decision to move/ restructure/downsize/merge. Or the promoters lose interest. Or the company is caught in a governance issue. Or there is a new process/technology and you are redundant. Or a new boss takes over and you don’t fit in. You have been feeling WAY UP but your Reality is WAY DOWN.

You are likely to find yourself out of a job.

This is a time to introspect and first determine whether the issue is with you or the environment. This might help you decide whether it is better for you to look for another job or do something on your own. In any case, much like the earlier scenario, this is an opportunity for you to consider whether there is something else you want to do. Taking that decision is often very empowering and helps to turn the ‘why me’ feeling into ‘thank God it happened.’

4. Life Changes. Ageing parents, a child whose growth you want to participate in or other such changes in your personal circumstance. These require you to reevaluate your priorities and options. Sometimes it may just mean a change in job. Often, this is a great opportunity to reimagine your present and future. And pursue that dream.

You may find that your personal situation is either a mix of some of the points above or maybe unique. Applying the WAY UP and WAY DOWN framework may be helpful in making up your mind.

Some critical points to keep in mind when looking at timing:

1. Money – Do you have the money to give yourself some time before your economic engine kicks in the second career? This time could be anywhere from 6 months to a year. Sometimes more. This helps you breathe a little easy, particularly if you have dependants and EMIs.

2. Stakeholder Buy-in – Have you got the buy-in of the most critical stakeholders in this process? It helps greatly if your spouse/significant other/potential business partner is on board and has agreed on the timing. Just makes life easier. you can of course soldier on without this support if your belief is strong and you have taken care of #1.

In her book titled the ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’  Bronnie Ware notes that ‘ I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me’ was the most common regret. Wouldn’t it be lovely to live the life you wanted to? Sometimes, the right decision on living your dream in the work that you do, is the most critical one to see that you do not live a life of regrets.

The master of the second innings - credits NDTV Sports

A dozen years ago, I made a difficult exit from a twenty year career in advertising. My wife and I started Bullzi Inc with the idea of following my passion and her experience in developing and mentoring people. We survived and today Bullzi Inc works with organisations across continents and the work has morphed and grown.

Many friends, business associates and acquaintances keep asking me how I managed to make the switch into a second career. Instead of answering this question from only my experience, I chose to talk to a number of other people who had successfully made the switch, others who are great second innings batters – a banker who runs adventure camps for children, a consumer goods CEO who advices people on personal investments, an advertising person who runs a great learning organisation and 15 others.

There are many shades to it and in Part 1 I want to specifically address it for those contemplating a switch that involves doing something on their own. Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Headline Positives – Scoring the winning runs

1. You can follow your dreams. This is enormous! You can actually live your purpose and experience a sense of fulfillment that everyone dreams of. The most successful second innings players that I have come across are marked out by their almost spiritual sense of contentment with what they do.

2. You can be your own boss. No answering to someone who does not get it or is too meddlesome or too political… You can live by the values you cherish.

3. What you create bears your stamp. You are very much the brand or completely integral to the brand. It is yours.

Spoiler Alert – the second innings pitch presents its own challenges

1. Multi tasking like crazy – Forget the corner office and the minions. If you don’t do it, it will not get done – from licking the envelopes to the strategy note. This can present challenges for people who have long been used to super efficient assistants and large teams.

2. Loss of intellectual companionship – On your own you have to bat the idea with yourself, largely. Exposure to different ideas, opinions, influences will reduce. Until you find the network and the ways to deal with it.

3. Maintaining the discipline – With no one to tell you, clock you, look up to you, remaining disciplined about work ethics can be quite a challenge. The luxury of choosing your time to start your work and close it can be quite intoxicating. I have seen people slip simply because they could not keep the shape on their own.

Negotiating the challenges successfully will help greatly in making the second innings the best phase of your life. Pad up, and go score those runs.

In a research published on the 1^st of January, 2014, by the University of Scranton in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, it was found that only 8% of people making resolutions were able to keep them!

This is a very USA centric research and I ran my own little survey on social media to see whether India was any different.

Here is a quick comparison[1]:

• There is some serious congruence between the two. About 60% make  resolutions regularly or infrequently
• Just about 10% experience full success
• Nearly 40% never make any resolutions

[1] A caveat – my own research was conducted informally and will probably not stand the test of any statistical validity. It does, however, pass the common sense test.

Is it worth it?

Given the depressing figures of success the question is valid. Why go through all the ‘stress’ and why not just enjoy the New Year?

Here is another interesting finding from the same research that might help answer that question:

“….Of the total sample size of 3000, there were two sub groups who were tracked for a period of six months. Both sub groups were marked by their common desire to change something. One had taken a resolution on New Year’s Day (resolvers) and the other (non-resolvers) had left it for later. At the end of six months 10 times more resolvers reported continuous success than non-resolvers.”

This bears out our own experience in Executive Coaching and Change Management – those who resolve to change behaviour voluntarily are more likely to succeed than those who postpone or resist change.

6 secrets behind success

Those who succeed share a few things in common.

1. A short list, preferably with only one thing on it.  When you create a list with too many things, it is one surefire way of ensuring failure. Trying to loose weight, keep in touch with family/friends more frequently, quit smoking, buy a new car, make more time for yourself …all at the same time, is attempting too much. Change is difficult and you have to set yourself up for success. Pick the one you want to work on first and get some consistency in achieving that. Success will motivate you to try the next one.
2. Choose correctly.Pick the right thing to work on. I recommend a simple exercise to my coachees. Against each one of the things that you wish to change, list out the benefits. What would you gain if the change happened?  For instance, ‘Weight loss’. It could mean looking better, feeling better, being more confident, being more attractive to the opposite sex, fitting into many of those wonderful clothes, better relationship with spouse, less expense on food….This will help you identify the one that is most motivating for you. It also helps you stay on course when you find it really hard to keep the discipline.
3. Specific. Lets take the example of ‘Make time for self’. When expressed in that form it becomes difficult to see what you need to do, and whether you are getting any success. When translated into specific behaviours (or things to do) it becomes a lot easier.  For instance, ‘make sure to have at least two weekends away from office’ is more specific. It could also be, ‘go out with my friends at least once a week’ (I like that!), or whatever it is that you believe would mean making time for yourself.  Similarly, ‘cut sweets down to one a day’, or ‘stop having tea with sugar’, or ‘have dinner by 9 p.m. everyday’.  These are all better than ‘loose weight’. Just like ‘walk for 15 minutes at least every day in the evening after coming back from work’ is better than “exercise”.
4. Appoint stakeholders. In the Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching methodology there is conclusive evidence that when you involve your stakeholders, your chance of success increases dramatically. A stakeholder is someone who has visibility of your action, has some role to play and will benefit from the change. In the case of losing weight, it could be your spouse/significant other, some friends, parents, boss/business partner. Announce to them what you are planning to do and ask them for feedback at predetermined time intervals.  There is also some interesting research at Quirkology that supports this.
5. Any day could be New Year’s Day. If you know what you want to work on and are really just postponing your action, make a resolution to start today.  It is the first day of the year on your mission. If you have chosen correctly, not created too long a list, been specific and appointed stakeholders, you have increased your chance of success exponentially.
6. Resolving the paradox of ‘wanting’ but not being able to ‘do’.  Very often we may find that even though we have rationally and emotionally understood what we want to do differently and have the necessary discipline to implement, we are still unable to do it. This is often caused by a deeper belief that runs counter to what we want to do. Here is an example:

Shireen (name changed) believed that she needed to make more time for herself. She also had a clear action plan. However, every weekend she would be back in office either attending to her own work or, more often doing something that she had promised to help out with.  Her growing up years had distilled in her the belief that people needed to be helped whenever they asked for it. Not doing so was somehow wrong. It was only after she understood how she had created an ecosystem where everyone always turned to her and her own work and family life was suffering that she was able to deal with it. Her action plan changed to ‘informing people when they could expect feedback from her’ and ‘not attending phone calls on Sundays’.

The last one is of course more difficult to unearth and resolve. And here comes my plug – mail/call me or attend one of my programmes. You might find it useful 🙂 !

What about me – you ask?

Well, here is my resolution for the New Year, post at least 3 pieces on my blog, Bullzi FB page and twitter every month. Of these at least one will be an original article written by me. My New Year has started today, the 29^th of December.

Cheers!